I think I found the cure for divorce. Spend one morning at divorce court. This is what I did yesterday while standing as a character reference for one of our church members.
Ours was the last case of the day, so I got a chance to witness a number of emotional, spiritual and physical disasters unfold before me. While I am not sure what hell is actually like, I am sure that some of the elements that I witnessed yesterday will be part of the equation. This is the underbelly of human emotion and behavior.
One by one, spouse after spouse and parent after parent stood before a judge who now was in charge of decisions that were once theirs. Dollar amounts were being place on kids. This kid is worth this amount in support, another a higher amount because they took gymnastics lessons. Even virtual visits were being assigned.
The parties involved no longer communicated. Instead they were spoken to an for by their personal attorneys. I never saw one former couple make eye contact in my morning at the court. It was as if the space that their former partner encompassed was removed from the cosmic grid. They no longer existed.
What I found interesting was that there was also not a couple there who did not start their relationship in either passionate infatuation or determined “love”. Now they stood here as puppets of the system, being spoken for and to by intermediaries and worldly sovereigns. I really can’t describe how awful it was. It took me about a day to recover.
So what happened to love? Was true love ever present and if it was how is ths result possible. Is love really able to overcome all things? Can it overlook all things, or is this just biblical poetry.
1Cor. 13:10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
1Cor. 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
When I related this story to a friend yesterday, he told me with full confidence that if his wife or him were to commit adultery, that that they would not separate. I think I could say the same thing, but once again, I have never been or hope to be in that situation. Still, maybe this is the view we should all have.
What would unconditional love look like in a marriage? In the last couple of entries I talked about how we should have no “because” in our love. We should never love for any reason. If we do, then our love is based on a thing, and love then becomes a servant of that thing.
As I searched the scriptures, I stood corrected. We are to love because of one “because” and only one.
1John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.
What this verse says is that God is the impetus of all our love. Since God himself is greater then love, then basing our love on God creates a foundation for love that supports it in all its trials. Thus, in order for love to supersede all things it needs to stand on a foundation great then itself. The question then to us in every arena in which we love is this, “Does this act of love find its only anchor in the person of God himself.”
This is why love conquers all. Love does not conquer all because of its innate essence as the thing called “love”, rather love perseveres because its very fuel is the fullness of God.
This is why Jesus says that divorce in certain situation is only because of human weakness. While it might seem trite, love can easily overcome a adulterous affair. Is not love infinite? Will sin not pass away. The answer is yes. For what seems a might hurdle to us, is childs play for God.
This is also why God can overlook any sin and send his only Son to die for us. It is because of a fantastical love that flows from a source of infinite power and ability. That source is God Himself.